Essential body safety tips for the holiday season to empower your child, set boundaries, and ensure a safe, joyful time for your family.
The holiday season is a magical time filled with joy, family gatherings, and festive activities. However, it’s also a time when routines change, new people come into children’s lives, and children may be exposed to unfamiliar or overwhelming situations. As parents and caregivers, this is an important time to not forget about teaching body safety and ensuring our children feel empowered and safe.
Here are 12 body safety tips to help you through the holiday season:
1. Reinforce Teachings of Body Autonomy
Children should know that they are in charge of their bodies. Their body belongs to them. This concept is fundamental to body safety (and should be emphasised all year round) and is especially relevant during the holidays when children may be asked to hug or kiss relatives, or be around new people and those who they do not see often.
- Teach your child that they have the right to say “no” to any physical contact, even with family members.
- Model respectful behaviour by asking for their consent - “Would you like a hug?”
- Offer alternatives for affection such as hi-fives or verbal greetings to help your child feel what is comfortable for them and to set boundaries with confidence.
2. Prepare Your Child (and yourself) for Holiday Gatherings
Large family gatherings can be exciting but also overwhelming.
- Roleplay different scenarios with your child such as meeting new relatives or saying “no” if they feel uncomfortable. You can do this together or with dolls/toys.
- Teach them to identify trusted adults they can go to if they need help. Who are their safe people?
- Discuss family rules for body safety, like not keeping secrets. Remind them that they can tell you anything.
3. Set Boundaries with Relatives as Needed
Sometimes family members may pressure or bribe children into physical affection or keeping secrets. Whether they have good intentions or not, this behaviour can have dangerous consequences. Sometimes we have to get comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations, because what matters most at the end of the day is your child's safety and trust.
- Communicate your family’s body safety rules to relatives ahead of time. For example, “We’re teaching *child's name* that they don’t have to hug or kiss anyone if they don’t want to.”
- Encourage relatives to support your child’s boundaries by praising their decisions.
- Speak up for your child. Sometimes if a child is young or feels shy, we need to be their voice. You can also support your child by coaching them. Give them the words to speak up for themselves (if they resist, don't force them). Often your child will feel better seeing and hearing you do this for them, they know you have their back and you've done some great role-modeling.
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4. Talk About Secrets vs. Surprises
The holidays are a time for surprises, but children need to understand the difference between a surprise (which is temporary and meant to be revealed) and a secret (which may be harmful or involve inappropriate behaviour).
- Reinforce that they should never keep secrets about touching or things that make them feel uncomfortable.
- Use examples like, “It’s okay to keep a surprise about a present for Grandma, but it’s never okay to keep a secret about someone hurting you.”
5. Monitor any Changes in Routine
With holiday travel or changes in schedule, children may be in unfamiliar new environments or with new caregivers.
- Always do your due diligence in checking babysitters or temporary caregivers and ensure they understand your family’s body safety rules.
- Check-in regularly with your child and ask open-ended questions about their feelings or experiences. Open-ended questions require more than "yes" or "no" answers. They encourage detailed responses, exploration of thoughts, and deeper conversation. For example, instead of asking, "Did you have fun?" (closed-ended), you might ask, "What was the most fun part of your day?" (open-ended).
6. Teach the Brain, Heart, and Stomach Feelings of their Instincts
Empower children to trust their instincts by teaching them about the ways their body tries to tell them something when something doesn’t feel right.
- Explain that this feeling is their body’s way of telling them they might not be safe.
- Practice responses, like saying “no,” leaving the situation, and telling a trusted adult.
- Examples of body cues:
- Brain: "My brain feels confused or unsure. I’m having thoughts like, ‘This doesn’t feel okay,’ or ‘I want to leave.’"
- Heart: "My heart is beating really fast, like it’s racing, or feels like it’s pounding in my chest."
- Stomach: "My stomach feels tight, like a knot, or I feel like I might be sick."
7. Use Code Words
Establish a family code word that your child can use if they feel unsafe or need to leave a situation discreetly.
- Practice scenarios where they might use the code word, ensuring they understand its purpose.
8. Screen Digital Content and Online Interactions
Holidays often bring new gadgets and increased screen time. They may be around other children who have access to these devices.
- Teach children about online safety, including not sharing personal information and recognising tricky people in online spaces.
- Monitor apps and games they use, ensuring they have safe digital experiences.
9. Create Safe Spaces During Gatherings
Offer your child a quiet, private space where they can retreat if they feel overwhelmed or need a break.
- Encourage them to let you know if they need a moment alone, and respect their wishes.
10. Read Body Safety Books Together
Books like 'Tricky People' and the 'My Body' series are excellent tools for teaching children body safety concepts in a relatable way.
- Use these stories as conversation starters to discuss body autonomy, boundaries, and how to identify unsafe situations.
- Revisit these books regularly to reinforce the lessons.
11. Model Body Safety Practices
Children learn by watching the adults around them.
- Model respectful boundary setting in your interactions, such as declining a handshake if you’re uncomfortable.
- Show your child how to speak up confidently and assertively.
12. Check-In After the Holidays
Once the holiday celebrations are over, take time to check in with your child.
- Ask open-ended questions like, “What was your favourite part of the holiday?” and “Did anything happen that made you feel uncomfortable?”
- Listen without judgment and provide reassurance.
The holiday season is a wonderful time to create lasting memories while reinforcing essential life skills like body safety. By taking proactive steps, you can empower your child to navigate social interactions confidently and securely.
If you’re looking for more resources, check out 'Tricky People' and the 'My Body' series by Crystal Hardstaff, which provide practical tools and engaging stories for teaching children about body autonomy and safety.
Wishing you a safe and joyful holiday season!
