Why Emotional Literacy Matters

Emotional literacy is the foundation of emotional intelligence, helping children recognise, understand, and healthily express their emotions. Research shows that children with strong emotional literacy have better relationships, improved problem-solving skills, and increased resilience (Denham et al., 2012).

When children struggle with identifying their emotions, they may express frustration, anger, or sadness through meltdowns or withdrawal. As parents and caregivers, we can guide them in developing emotional awareness by modeling, validating, and coaching them through their feelings.

The Role of Parents and Caregivers in Teaching Emotional Literacy

1. Emotion Coaching: Teaching Kids to Recognise Feelings

Emotion coaching, a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman, involves:

• Recognising emotions in yourself and your child.
• Labelling emotions accurately (e.g., "I see you're frustrated because your tower fell").
• Validating their feelings (e.g., "It's ok to feel frustrated when things don't go as planned").
• Helping them problem solve after acknowledging their emotions.

📝 Use a Feelings Chart with simple facial expressions to help younger children label their emotions. Download my free printable Feelings Chart here!

2. Validating Feelings: "All Emotions Are Ok"

Children need to feel seen and heard before they can move forward from an emotional moment. Instead of dismissing their feelings (e.g., "You're fine, stop crying"), try:

• "I can see you're really sad about that. Want to talk about it?"
• "You're feeling mad because your brother took your toy. That makes sense."

Validation doesn’t mean agreeing—it simply means acknowledging their reality. All emotions are welcome and ok, however, all behaviour is not (e.g., hitting or biting).

📢 What's a common phrase you heard as a child that wasn’t validating? Let’s rewrite it in a way that fosters emotional literacy! Drop your answers in the comments on my post here!

3. Modeling Emotional Expression

Children learn by watching us. If we bottle up emotions or react explosively, they will internalise those responses. Instead, try healthily narrating your own emotions:

• "I'm feeling overwhelmed right now, so I'm going to take a deep breath."
• "I’m really excited about our weekend plans!"
• "I feel frustrated when the house is messy. Let's clean up together."

4. Using Books & Storytelling to Teach Emotions

Books are a fantastic way to introduce emotions to children. Stories help them recognise different feelings in a safe and engaging way.

📚 Recommended Books:

• My Body, My Feelings by Crystal Hardstaff (yes, that’s me!)
• The Color Monster by Anna Llenas
• When Sophie Gets Angry – Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang

🌟 Want more book recommendations? Check out my curated list of the best children’s books on emotional literacy!

5. Play-Based Learning for Emotional Awareness

Children process emotions through play. Here are some activities to build emotional literacy:

• Emotion Charades: Act out emotions and have your child guess them.
• Feelings Journal: Encourage kids to draw or write about their daily emotions.
• Role-Playing Scenarios: Practice responses to different emotions (e.g., "What can we do when we feel nervous?").

Overcoming Common Challenges

"My child refuses to talk about feelings."

Some children need extra time to process emotions before talking. Instead of pushing them to "use their words," try alternative ways like drawing, sensory play, or movement. Children express themselves through play.

"My child has big meltdowns."

When emotions are overwhelming, logical reasoning won’t work in the moment. Instead:

1. Stay calm.
2. Validate their feelings.
3. Offer co-regulation (e.g., "I'm here with you, let's take deep breaths together").
4. Discuss strategies after they’re calm.